When I was a young bride I agreed to become a part of a gourmet dinner group with another couple from our church. I had no experience with anything like this; the woman of the other couple did, and she was also probably ten to fifteen years my senior. She "allowed" me to go first; it was a set-up. I had to do a main dish that I had never before prepared and she would bring dessert.

Dinner was set for 6:00 P.M. a few weeks down the road. Our guests walked in with an ice sculpture she had made, and then decorated with fresh strawberries; I knew I was way out of my league now. I made a wonderful chicken dish that was wrapped in filo pastry and topped with an elegant mushroom sauce. The problem was, it took me until 9:00 that night to finish preparing it! It was well worth the wait; but a wait until 9:00 P.M.? I don’t think so. I was an absolute wreck, and so embarrassed and tired. I’ll tell you what happened when we went to their home for dinner another time. Suffice it to say; I learned a bunch through this experience.

I have found in talking with other women over the years that most fear having others in their homes for a meal, or, they wonder where they would ever get the time to prepare for guests in light of their busy schedules. This is the place where I have come from, and I have gone through many difficult experiences in getting to a place of feeling some sense of accomplishment in this area. Here are a few tips I’ve learned over the years as I have stepped out of my comfort zone and welcomed others into our home.

1.) People love to be invited. When we invite friends into our home we are paying them value and we are letting them know that they matter to us.

2.) Our guests could care less whether or not the house is dusted and vacuumed. Their focus is on the fact that we cared enough to invite them over to our home.

3.) I have found that people are extremely easy to please when it comes to the food being served. I make sure to ask about likes and dislikes, food allergies, and drink preferences so that our guests are not offended or embarrassed.

4.) I make sure our guests know whether or not children are to be included; never assume that they know.

5.) Keep the food simple, and do as much of the preparation in advance as possible. This will take pressure off of you and allow you more freedom to be with your guests.

6.) Unless you are very comfortable with your guests, do not prepare a dish you have never made or tasted before. It is just not worth the risk, especially if you are already feeling a little uncomfortable or stressed.

7.) Put pets in another room or outside. Not all people are animal lovers and want a cat or dog curled up in their lap.

8.) Relax. Your guests have come into your home to spend time with you, and not to evaluate your abilities as a hostess. I have found that this did not apply only a very few times, and those folks were never invited back.

9.) If you are not relaxed, and get into a pinch with your time at the last minute, ask for some help. My guests have always offered long before there was a problem and I am quite sure yours will too.

10. If need be buying some food that is already prepared at the deli, bakery or market will help with time shortages.

Finally, one of my favorite ways to invite friends over is by having a potluck. This is especially good for those who are just starting out in the hospitality arena and might feel very uncertain of themselves. I decide on the menu and ask each couple to bring an assigned part. Women love this idea for a meal; at least my friends have, because we are all so busy. This way we can get together with friends, or family, and the load is shared, rather than not extending an invitation at all because of fear or lack of time. I wish you rich blessings as you open your home to others.